A new kind of success

In celebration of the recent new moon & eclipse, it’s time to define success differently in this overly filtered online world 

I realized I have to take my mask off & share some more 

I didn’t even realize I was wearing one, and I also do believe privacy with certain things is important 

Plus sometimes when you’re going through it or healing it still, you’re meant to keep it to yourself

But now it’s time 

I didn’t know how to talk about it before, but now I have the words

This will be a 2 part post because there’s a lot to say

Part 1: 

Taking off the mask ✌🏼 

When I launched my spiritual biz I projected getting to 6 figures in 6 months, was for sure it was going to happen, posted all about it, even made a course about it

And was almost there, but it didn’t quite happen

The numbers ended up being, between both income streams, and about $500 away from the target

So in my mind back then I had still hit the goal, and shared about it for months after that, because somehow in the survival mode I was in I didn’t realize that wasn’t the truth 

Once I realized like “hey bitch that’s not the full truth,” I immediately shared about how I’d made 6 figures for years in my prior biz, but there were also times I wasn’t making 6 figures 

And that’s been the case the last couple years since that moment

And I had no clue how to talk about it in more detail till now

That year I also ended up letting myself get evicted from an apartment I’d manifested that was my dream place on the ocean in California

Why the fuck would I do that? 

I was trying to force a model in my new biz that was being taught by my biz coach at the time, but just never worked for me 

So my income went from quickly increasing to quickly plummeting 

And I took the Universe’s hint that it was time for me to leave and go on a different path

Then I moved back to Hawaii to work on healing my shit some more

But back then, I didn’t know all that I know now that success (ESPECIALLY in biz) isn’t some cookie cutter bullshit

It was ingrained in my mind that it was though since launching my prior biz almost 10 years ago 

I had a lot of dysfunctional programming around biz that I have had to reprogram over the last several years

My first biz mentor taught the model of inflating the truth (what I believe is the LAST thing you should ever do in biz)

That never sat right with me, like made me sick to my stomach that people were legit lying

And then when I realized all of these things recently, I felt like I was doing that and felt like a total imposter and fraud

I then realized that I am not, and that I WANTED deeply to share more details about everything before, I just had no clue how to talk about it till now

Something else I don’t think I ever shared publicly because I literally forgot about it 

When I first quit my corporate job back in 2013 to go full time in my prior biz, I didn’t share all the details about the how because I was a baby 25 year old and was clueless 

People assumed I was making bank straight away, and I never corrected anyone because I was so in my ego and in all the programming I was taught by my mentor back then, and also only 25 and didn’t know what the fuck I was doing yet

But I actually took a major leap of faith, while only making $600/month with that biz 

I just believed in it so much that I knew it’d work out, and it did….within just a few months I was making more than I did at that corporate job 

It also scares the shit out of me to share all of this because I pride myself in being real and authentic, especially since we live in such an overly filtered online world

I have a fear that all the clients I coached over the years will not trust me anymore….but THAT is when I realized that I HAVE to share this, even though I am TERRIFIED 

I always pride myself in being 2000% authentic and real with my clients and often share stuff with them only my closest friends know, these are just things I either didn’t know how to speak about yet publicly, or just forgot about

Because if I’ve learned anything in the last 10 years, I know that being vulnerable and being REAL is what matters most, for the people out there that need my message….regardless of who doesn’t like it 

Along with that, and all I went through with biz this year, I have realized that it’s time to define success differently

See the rest of the story continued below!

Part 2: 

A new kind of success ✨

Because I kept deeming myself as a failure for not being at 6 figures or debt free anymore

Like I mentioned in my last post, this year the Universe basically sat me in time out

A big fat fucking pause was put on business, moving, and almost everything else in life 

Because for years I wasn’t fully listening…

About slowing down, doing less, letting go of control (see my previous post here for more)

This year challenged me TO THE FUCKING CORE

I chose by my own free will to leave Hawaii last year because my family was so far away and with the pandemic, I really missed them and wanted to visit a few months and then move after that (see my divine timing sucks big fat fucking cock post here for more on that)

And then I didn’t have resources to move where I thought I wanted to, then I did but decided against it, then didn’t have the resources again :P 

I TRIED to have them multiple times after that lol…

But then the Universe just made it not happen so I could stay put and keep healing my shit

Basically I lived off a large sum of money I manifested, residual income stream from prior biz, & money in lots of other random ways (like help from loved ones)

But I had basically had like 6 clients all year in my biz…

And I used to sign up that many new clients in like 1 hour or 1 day

So yeah big ego blow lol

I know that my soul signed up to go through this, because I had so much trauma to heal from my past, and I just simply needed space to go through that

And I also know that I had to slow down and fully step in to that feminine frequency

Up until very recently, I had a really hard time accepting this, loving myself, and believing in my future as an entrepreneur 

I wanted to quit so many times 

Even after all the people I have helped over the years

Even after all the visions Spirit has given me about my purpose and future as an entrepreneur 

Even after how fucking passionate I am about helping transform women’s lives

I felt like such a failure because of all this, even though Spirit told me multiple times my soul chose this before I even incarnated 

I was convinced my time was just over, but thank God for my healer/best friend who helped me get through this time, which is why I want to be here for you

But now I feel like a MOTHERFUCKING BADASS for all of the battles I’ve fought and overcame this year

For not fucking giving up

Because even though I despised the darkness for most of the year….

It made me so much fucking stronger

Like a MOTHERFUCKING WARRIOR 

And I decided my new definition of success is simply:
how much I align with my heart  and put myself first

I also know now more than ever, all those visions I got from Spirit about my future WILL happen and come true

And SO WILL YOURS BOO

This is why manifestation and success are not a linear process, because sometimes what we are manifesting is SO BIG, we have a lot of clearing out to do before we get it, so it can take a little bit more time

I don’t want you to give up on yourself boo

I am here for you, ALWAYS

So the point of all this: 

It’s time we define success differently 

Fuck how much money you make

Fuck all the awards or accolades

Fuck how many followers you have

Fuck how fit you are

And look at how BEAUTIFUL and FUCKING BRILLIANT you are love

This overly filtered online world can be brutal, so please don’t compare yourself to someone else’s highlight reel 

Because they could be just like me, going through the darkest year of their life, losing “success,” and not knowing how to share about it 

(you can see on my freedom highlight videos on IG here that I made sharing about some more real shit and body “imperfections” as well)

Let me know below how this all makes you feel, and if this resonates with you

I love you so much, times infinity !

PS: see the first part to this topic & chat here.